(Un) Common courtesy

Everyday life can be a tiring affair, with so many things one needs to do,  so many interactions with other people. In order to make our day to day existence more bearable we long ago created a social code of behaviour that involves being polite and considerate towards one another as a form of social lubricant. We call this behaviour common courtesy and should encounter it all around us a lot of the time.

Unfortunately recently there has been a tendency to disregard courtesy and all that goes with it, perhaps as a misguided expression of individuality or, even, because of political correctness. This is evident everywhere in London, from the way people behave when driving, riding their bicycles or just walking in the street, and to me it is disappointing and annoying in equal measure.

It used to be quite rare to hear the beeping of a car horn in central London, but now it happens every few seconds and makes you jump, with the reason often being just to communicate with a friend, a form of hello or at other times because the vehicle in front has dared hesitate for a second. It is not yet as major an irritant as in Mediterranean countries or the Middle East, but still it is unnecessary and stressful.

What about all the people walking about lost in their mobile communications device, who will suddenly stop in mid-stride and force you to either collide with them or take evasive action? Or the cyclist riding straight at you on the pavement and expecting you to step aside when he is breaking the law? The three people walking side by side who expect the solitary walker coming from the other side to give them room rather than the other way around?

And everyone I know has a story about a neighbour on the train or restaurant having a loud yet private conversation, sharing details of their work or personal life that I, for one, have no desire to know.

Don't think for a moment that there was a time not that long ago when everything was perfect and everyone considerate, because there wasn't. We were, however, more aware of each other and less eager to cause offence, perhaps realising that being polite is not the same as being submissive or weak, but just a mechanism to make life interesting. Today we are more selfish, more full of, often inflated, ideas of or our own self-worth and less automatic respect for others. The result of this is that we are less patient and tolerant, less prepared to show courtesy to unknown others.

Doubtless Brexiteers will attribute some of this to the immigrants that are more and more a feature of life in multicultural London, and they are not entirely wrong: it has recently become established practice that, instead of trying to fit in and assimilate with the host culture, new arrivals insist on continuing their patterns of behaviour from home, thus bringing and imposing (or trying to) new habits and modes of personal conduct previously unknown. This in turn disrupts the equilibrium and encourages some previously compliant people to begin misbehaving, making matters worse. How does it stop?

Well, I think it's really quite simple, and it involves every single one of us. All we have to do is modify our behaviour a little bit to take into account others around us, be more sensitive and considerate of their needs. It costs hardly anything, makes life better, helps people smile more at each other, and I am certain that others will imitate this given half a chance. What is there not to like?