St. Peter's donkey

I am not certain if Saint Peter had a donkey and, if so, what kind it was; my knowledge of donkeys is limited, my interest in them also. It pains me very little to admit that my knowledge of Saint Peter - or any other saint for that matter - is pretty sketchy too but, in any case, the donkey I am referring to is not alive, at least not in any hee-hawing sense, though it has plenty of life in it... It is, in many ways, a Funky Donkey.

This Funky Donkey resides on Andros, one of the largest islands of the Cyclades, that group of islands in the Aegean Sea famous for being arid and full of little white houses glittering in the sun. Traditionally Andros has neither, but is water rich, verdant and with a neoclassical architectural heritage (now being eroded by said white constructions), so does not feature in the typical cycladic postcard. This is a wealthy island, mainly from shipping and trading, with its own significant production of fruit and veg, a livestock industry and even its own bottled mineral water - so it is an unlikely tourist hotspot. But it is blessed with some stunning scenery, including excellent beaches, one of which is called St. Peter's Beach.

Did St. Peter himself ever visit Andros and spend time on her beaches? Did he prance around in his bathing costume, sunning himself while preaching to people he hoped to convert? I fancy not, but it is irrelevant anyway, as the name exists and persists, derived it seems from a ruined edifice called St. Peter's Tower, which is on the hill behind the beach; I am informed that this was probably a signal beacon tower built in the 3rd or 4th century BC, part of an elaborate inter-island warning system. Why that, or the nearby village,  acquired the name of the saint who ended up in Rome I don't know, and in the immortal words of Rhett Butler 'Frankly my dear, I don't give a ----' (you can insert your own variation, should you wish, the original is damn...).

Our Funky Donkey then is a beach bar, one of three along the length of St. Peter's beach, and the last on your right hand side as you leave Gavrion, the main port of the island, to head to Chora and most everywhere else on the island. All three enjoy access to the same clear (most of the time, anyway) waters and offer seemingly similar services, including beach umbrellas, sun loungers and a bar providing refreshments and snacks. A quick look may leave you wondering why I choose to write about one of the three, as they all appear to be similar... bear with me!

The difference, as with most things in life, is in the detail, something you will notice should you be fortunate enough to spend leisure time on the island and try these places. The proprietor of the Donkey, Stelios Mamais, is keen that his customers enjoy the best possible service for their money, so has excellent quality sun loungers (sturdy and comfortable), better than anything else on the island, or most islands for that matter. These not only give the customers pleasure, but provide him with years and years of loyal service, so were well worth the investment. An investment that was a leap of faith on his part as, until this year when he was granted a 3-year deal, his concession had always been on a year by year basis making all investment a risk. Stelios himself - and why are they all called Stelios?? - is a quiet man, hiding behind the bar and overseeing all activity.

A couple of years ago I was able to take an extended break on Andros, staying in a small holiday apartment belonging to a friend, and took full advantage of the facilities provided by said Funky Donkey, including ice-cold beer and light snacks. I reserved my greatest appreciation for the complimentary bottle of water they included with the umbrella/sun lounger rental, a nice touch and so necessary during hot Greek summer days, but especially for their kindness and hospitality, which was not proportional to the size of the bill you ran up.

This isn't some slick corporate setup, with marketing budgets and an impersonal feel, nor is it a luxurious establishment of the kind found on the island of Mykonos, full of bells and whistles. Nobody splashes champagne about, it isn't a showy kind of place. Rather, this is a local small business, run by local people and contributing directly to the local economy. It's imperfect, quirky, put together by the owners and not a design team; it offers decent service, value for money and is struggles to make a living. But it deserves to do well, as Stelios stubbornly continues to improve his little domaine; with security of tenure for three years he should be able to do much more than before, as he's always looking for new ideas and ways to improve.

If your idea of a good holiday is clubbing all night and sleeping all day, then Andros is not for you and the Funky Donkey will leave you cold. In fact, most of the Greek islands don't cater for you, though there are one or two that do, heaven help them. Andros is about the simple beauty of the place, which can be seen both on foot/bus and by car/motorbike, the good beaches (organised like our funky friend, or remote and bare where you need to carry your own refreshments and shade) with the clear, cool waters and some excellent if simple food in traditional restaurants all over. You will not be bumping into the jet set here - there is, after all, no airport on the island - and most of the glamorous stuff happens in the big houses of Chora belonging to the shipping families, tucked away on the other side of the island. The rest is simple and largely welcoming, easy to get to from Athens airport (a short boat ride away) and with something to offer for most of the year.

The Funky Donkey lives during the summer, however, appearing every year around the end of May and disappearing almost without trace before the end of September, as the summer slowly winds down and its disciples return to whence they came, making its presence unnecessary. It's a good little Donkey, really, though I'll leave the funkiness rating up to you; as no bolt of lightning has destroyed it so far I can only assume St. Peter approves its presence on his beach too, maybe almost as much as I do.