As I get older

The Beatles were going on about 'when I get older, losing my hair,.... when I'm sixty four' but that was not something I ever had to worry about, since I lost most of my hair by the time I was twenty five! In any case, growing older has nothing to do with the precise years of our life, more about our state of body and, perhaps more importantly, mind.

Such a funny thing getting older, bringing pleasure and pain in equal measure, along with a different perspective on life and what is left of it. Please don't get me wrong, this has nothing to do with wanting to live forever or the state my life is in at present. I'm in a bit of a philosophical mood, that's all.

What troubles me is how, around me, the people I have either admired or loved are now popping off and leaving me in the lurch, feeling lonely and somewhat lost. Favourite authors, esteemed politicians (yeah, I know, but there are a few), admired teachers, close family and friends are biting the dust even as I hang on, however tenuously. It is as if a whole layer of my life is being dismantled, maybe even more than one, and it leaves me feeling bereft, upset, incomplete.

'What is the alternative, you idiot?' I hear you ask and, I must confess, I know not of one that can be realistically applied, as death is inevitable, natural and comes to us all sooner or later. Indeed the longer we stick around the more we are likely to experience loss all around us, near us. And this hurts, deeply, but it is a pain we must learn to live with, not expunge.

Still, age has compensations, especially in the accumulation of, for want of a better word, wisdom (well, that will fit nicely with our theme...) and the better understanding of our world, our fellow humans, the past, present and future. Every day we are alive we learn something new, add a little bit to our store of knowledge, improve our comprehension, become more complete. Alas just as we get closer to this holy grail we also discover that we are thought of by many as dinosaurs, classified as useless and largely ignored, if not actively scorned, by a society that worships youth and appears to applaud ignorance and inexperience. Talk about ironic...

Part of the problem is that we've been around too long, have become cynical (only a tad, though!) and seen too much to be easily impressed by a lot of the bullshit that flies around at any given moment - when you've seen/heard one generation of b/s verbalisation you've seen/heard them all and spot them a million miles away. After all, only the details vary, the hot air is still the same.

Our body is another problem, as age takes its toll, though all that's needed is a bit of care and attention to the mechanics to function at least adequately. Yes, we have to nurture and protect our body and, indeed, our mind; exercise, done sensibly and with appropriate guidance, will help us stay in good condition for much longer.

Sexual desire diminishes, of course, but for a man (and I am indeed such) it may be no bad thing, as it ceases to be a dominant - and sometimes destabilising - influence on our day-to-day lives; we start valuing quality before quantity, depth before length. Sure, performance (ha-ha) can be less predictable but equally, if not more, pleasurable for that - yes, even without viagra or whatever other stimulation you can think of.

So I feel happy getting older and not only considering the alternative. I may despair more at the state of the world, the incompetence of politicians or the mess my own life is in, but do so from a far more enlightened and informed position, which alters slightly every day as I learn or understand something new; my reactions are guided more by comprehension than prejudice, cause and effect rather than dreaming.

This piece is highly personal and written from my perspective, even if it includes a plethora of generalisations. It is not intended to portray objective truths, though I feel it probably largely does. And to make it even more personal, I would like to hereby make it absolutely clear that the day I cease to learn and absorb new influences, the day I cease to evolve is the day I would like to cease breathing as well, for I will have stopped living.