Old, Older, Dead?

I suppose that it is only natural to be faced with loss when we reach a certain age which, though not very advanced by today's standards, is still realistically past middle age; reluctantly I am prepared to accept this, especially in light of available evidence.

And that evidence is this:

1. Our parents, assuming they have had a 'normal' lifespan, depart this life and cede their place to us in the production line of life.
2. Many of our childhood 'heroes' or, in any event, people we idolised are dropping like flies, gone forever.
3. Our friends, especially those either slightly older or prone to a more dissolute lifestyle (or at least less careful about their health...), are dying, leaving us with a sense of loss and pain.

What does it matter? What do my - or yours for that matter - feelings matter in the greater scheme of things? Isn't death and therefore loss entirely natural and normal? What's the big deal?

It matters to me and I choose to share it with you, my reader, because it has a lot to do with being proper human beings, caring about others, having a heart. To me, were I not to think of loss, the pain associated with it and the absence of figures, once so important to me in many different ways, I would be deficient, defective, incomplete. Yes it hurts, which is not pleasant, but the pain is counterbalanced by what all these individuals have given me over the years, often unknowingly.

Some of this is to do with friendship, some with inspiration, some with love or lust; their presence filled parts of my life and their absence leaves a gaping hole. Wonderful memories can now no longer be shared, for the individual who experienced life with you then is no longer around. My motor racing days are greatly diminished by the departure from this life of Bob Geeson, my great friend and race engineer, whose trust, guidance, wisdom and support made a lot of it possible and all worthwhile, and Andreas Christopoulos, my boyhood friend with whom countless acts of driving madness were committed and countless dreams of driving glory were shared.

London no longer feels the same without Nick Ewart, with his mischievous look and his wonderful off-the-wall sense of humour, not to mention his capacity for sharing food and drink; the banking world (or my little part of it) shrivelled when Mike McCarthy disappeared from this earth, together with the little City hidey-holes he introduced me to over the years, where he was known and appreciated and where no lunch was complete without at least two bottles of wine. My friend Irene, no longer at the end of a telephone, will never again be there to share reminiscences of her exquisite Knightsbridge children's shop Little Horrors and the fun we had there.

My literary world, such as it is, misses Robert B. Parker (no, not the wine man...) and his Spenser etc., John D. MacDonald and Travis McGee, Rex Stout and Nero Wolfe, Michael Dibdin and Aurelio Zen, Colin Dexter and Inspector Morse, Henning Mankell and Kurt Wallander, to name but a few. And I can't begin to list the singers, musicians, actors, teachers and other inspirations who have left me poorer for their passing and who are difficult, if not impossible, to replace.

So it goes on, and I feel for every loss, hurt a little bit more every day, but don't see them as signposts that I'm on the way out too, I truly don't; I do accept, however, the natural progression and that they are indicators of sorts, with time not on my side.

And, despite the indications that most prospective employers view me as already too old - or half dead! - I soldier on in my little world, meeting new people and finding new experiences that, while they will never replace the ones lost, give me more to love and be getting on with.

So this is a cry of pain from one who is quite old but with a young man's heart and (occasionally) enthusiasm - and not quite dead yet!

Addiction

If you have no idea what addiction is you cannot be living in the real world. There, almost anywhere you care to look, some variant of addiction will exist to a lesser or greater extent. Alas addiction is not a rarity but commonplace and, in one form or another, is found in many households the world over. At its worse it is soul and body destroying, bringing misery and death to many; at its best it compels us to act irrationally and sometimes - very rarely indeed, it has to be said - to achieve great things.

The causes of addiction are not fully known or understood completely, with various competing theories being promoted depending on what you choose to believe. It may be that heredity is involved and that there is a gene responsible; despite various announcements on this however, little as far a I can ascertain has been proven beyond doubt. What has been proven to some degree is a relationship of certain genes to a vulnerability to addiction, which may lead further if conditions (environment, personal circumstances etc.) encourage it. There does not appear to be conclusive evidence of an inevitability about this, though, so it's no good claiming we are (or were) mere passengers in our addiction saga, much as it may suit us to believe this - 'I was helpless, could do nothing, my damned genes don't you know etc. etc.'.

Of course addiction can sometimes also be a question of choice - surrendering to something that gives us pleasure which we then allow to become a habit that then becomes so strong as to dominate our existence. Depending on the substance or activity and the effect it has on us (and those around us) it may be harmless, annoying (to us and others around us) or even potentially life threatening. And once we have surrendered to addiction it is apparently difficult to stop through personal willpower alone.

Not everything we may become addicted to is inherently extensively harmful; it is sometimes the loss of control and, therefore, the exaggerated use of such that makes something destructive:

1. A couple of cigarettes a day cause little harm - though personally I would not recommend smoking even that little - but a couple of packets  a day lead, without any doubt, to serious health problems.

2. Two or three glasses of wine a day cause little or no harm and may even have a positive effect on health; two or three bottles a day every day become a way to poison your body.

3. A couple of small pieces of chocolate, preferably dark, a day are a treat and may have health benefits; not so two large bars of same, especially the more sugar-laden versions.

4. Exercising regularly within certain limits (there are clear guidelines widely available, but if in doubt one must consult a professional) is doubtlessly beneficial, provided there are no health limitations or contraindications; training badly (usually with excessive intensity) or overtraining (training too often and/or for extended periods of time) , however, can lead to fatigue, muscular failure, injury and long-term health problems. And, surprising as it may seem, there is an addictive element to exercise - think of the runner's high - and of the feelgood factors associated with it!

Most of us think of drugs like opium, heroin and cocaine when thinking of addiction, as it is the most publicised form and death or serious after-effects are more often and more obviously involved. We also think of alcohol, out of control behaviour and violence, or DUI resulting in accidents.  These we consider as happening to other, more depraved, individuals, for we are not at that level and would never behave like that - if only it were that simple! Addiction is all around us in one form or another, affecting us or people just like us in one way or another; it is high time we realised this and behaved accordingly.

How one responds is where the main difficulty lies as, if we do not know the precise causes of addiction, it is very hard to come up with a catch-all solution. Furthermore we are all different as individuals and so require a more individual approach to treatment if it is to be effective, something that is not only difficult and potentially risky, but costly. What is certain, however, is that it is possible to break the chains through some kind of treatment, willpower (or a combination thereof), assuming we recognise the existence of a problem in the first place.

Therein lies the biggest problem: the addicted individual needs to understand and accept that they have an addictive issue. Then - and only then - can the attempt at treatment begin, but not all of us can be so honest with ourselves; the issue is more often than not avoided or hidden. It doesn't matter what anybody else says, to or about us, recognition and acceptance of addiction must come from within - it is the first step to a potential recovery.

A miserable winter's day

Today is Sunday, a quiet day for most of us and, here in London, a miserable one; the reason for this is the weather, though my mood is not a particularly sunny.

Despite the perception of many people who do not know London, the weather here is a fairly mild affair with few extremes in any direction - it's rarely extremely cold or hot and only occasionally presents a major problem. In fact the worst you can usually say about it is that it can be annoying, drizzly and dripping, making moving about less than congenial.

Today is slightly different, though it is wet and drippy (with sleet/snow actually): it is a dark, cold, miserable sort of day, of the kind better spent indoors in peace and quiet, near a fire of some description with a drink and a good book. But in a spirit of self-sacrifice I have decided to get out and about and chronicle this day for you, my reader (you know who you are and, if you don't by now, you are beyond any help that I can offer...), to help you share in this misery.

Are you affected by the weather? Do you like all your days to be sunny and bright, with birds gaily chirping and all of creation looking festive? Is your mood up or down depending on what is happening outside your window? If so, today you would be out of luck in London, as you can see from my photographs, simple as they are. Dreary, dark, wet and cold, unpleasant in a way that is not easy to describe, today would have had you running for cover, probably silently screaming...

Even I, who generally could not care less about the weather and what it's up to other than when it interferes with my planned wanderings, have found today a tad depressing. It may be that external factors are affecting me, bringing me down and making me blue (the cliches stop here, don't worry) and the weather is not to blame. It may be that today I had wanted a day of 'wandering about' weather so I could, as it were, 'go downtown' (thank you, Petula Clark). But today the weather annoyed me sufficiently to write about it.

Perhaps I had nothing better to do.

Save the World? Nah, can't be bothered!

The effects of pollution and plastic on our world and the natural habitat have been much in the news recently and the picture is not pretty; it is, quite frankly, horrifying. Major new initiatives are being discussed and put into place in many parts of the world, with the more developed countries usually taking the initiative. The problem is that all these initiatives are destined to fail - or, at least, not succeed properly - if we the public do not embrace and support them properly.

It really is as simple as that.

I beg each and every one of you to rethink our behaviour with and usage of plastics in our everyday life and limit it significantly. It is not just a good thing, it is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL for the future of the planet and all the species that are struggling to exist on it. For we are co-tenants of planet Earth, not sole owner-occupiers, and our actions affect not only the present but the future. And not just the future of the human race, though that alone should make us stop and think - but does it?

More years ago than I care to remember I attended an MBA program at one of the best such schools in the world, based in London. As an alumnus I am now able to use the school's Alumni Centre facilities without cost including computers, printers etc. on a 24-hour basis in buildings also used by the current generations of students. Like any other respectable and responsible organisation the school has facilities for separating stuff to throw away and to recycle, in clearly marked bins more often than not placed side by side. It even has a special recycling station for the notorious paper (but lined with plastic) coffee cups that cannot go into normal recycling as they need a special procedure to separate the plastic film from the paper before they can be recycled.

And what happens? Most people don't bother to throw the recyclable materials in the recycling bin but throw it in the rubbish instead - why? The bloody bins are next door to one another and it takes no special effort to do the right thing, so why not do it? And why is half the stuff thrown into the bin specially marked for coffee cups simply plain rubbish or materials to be placed in a normal recycling bin? Why when the appropriate bins are situated only a short distance (less than ten metres) away? Most people in the building are educated well-to-do people, so the only explanation has to be that, despite wanting a better world, they cannot be induced to do even the minimum required to achieve this. It makes me absolutely furious!

Please don't be like that, showing contempt for our Earth. In order to be more proactive you need to also do the following:

1. Cut down (the ideal would be to eliminate) on usage of plastic, especially everyday items like carrier bags, drinking straws and the like. When you use them please try and use ecologically sound alternatives.

2. Carry long-life bags with you (preferably not made of plastic) for when you go shopping and, if you are forced to use store-provided plastic bags, use them again and again before recycling them. The hassle to you is minimal, the cumulative effect on our world is huge.

3. Use the recycling facilities provided even if you may suspect the local authority of not necessarily being diligent enough with recycling, and even if it adds a tiny bit of hassle to your life.

4. Stop using your car unnecessarily - walking is good for you - and switch off the engine when not needed.

5. Try and shop avoiding plastic packaging and excess packaging of any kind; paper is a better alternative but can still be avoided.

6. If you have to throw plastic things away never do so in nature, NEVER in the sea and never if they can be reused or recycled.

Make the effort, learn, spend the time - nobody is too short on time to bother with the state of planet Earth - and make a difference. There is no better thing you can do with your time, believe me.

In two minds? I'm not sure...

To all those of you who are wondering about my sanity, I have little to say other than keep reading my stuff regularly, all will be revealed. Or, at least, you will form your own opinion on the subject, assuming you can be bothered in the first place!

And why do I mention this? Largely because my post on improving one's health using exercise was followed closely by one on how to learn to appreciate and enjoy alcohol - wine, actually - which  many consider detrimental to health.

Before the health police and the politically correct mob beat a path to my door, therefore, I will attempt to clarify this: the two are not mutually exclusive provided one treads a middle way and not the way of excess. There is such a thing as 'too much of a good thing', both to do with exercise and wine, as with so much in our lives.

If you read my scribblings carefully you will note that I advocate careful and correct use of exercise in order to improve health, with professional advice when necessary, and a conservative and defensive approach. This applies equally to youngsters as to wrinklies like me, though a younger body is far more resilient and recovers more quickly. The effects of abuse are cumulative, however, and will present themselves later anyway; youth merely postpones the day of reckoning.

The same to a large extent applies to wine abuse, something which if done on a regular basis detracts from the enchantment and magic that wine brings to our tastebuds and renders it just another alcoholic drink, a way to get blotto, a high of sorts. It is not an approach to wine that I approve of - there's plenty of near-tasteless alcohol that can be imbibed in order to achieve that - and wine, you must understand, has so much more to offer.

Is the occasional lapse allowed in wine or exercise, an exaggeration that may lead to a sore head or sore limbs? Of course it is, especially as a reminder of what the 'right' way to go is. Have your fun, whether it's drinking another bottle of something or running the extra five miles but expect consequences and accept them, get over them and know the short-term price. Repeating your 'fun'
(whatever it is) too often will inevitably lead to long-term cost in more ways than one, something definitely to be avoided.

So get on out there and indulge in both exercise and wine, though if you are beginners you may have to wait for my next post, at least on wine, before you can extract maximum pleasure. Be diligent, be patient, be joyous - you have the rest of your life to fill with the pleasures.

Wine tasting for beginners (part one)

Wine is amazing, seductive, different, a living thing constantly evolving, with a myriad of smells tastes and textures to discover; it will, if you treat your relationship with it in the right way, enhance your life's journey in more ways than I care to describe. But you've probably been at the wine over the Christmas period, what with stuffing your little faces with all sorts of delicacies and drinking whatever you can get your hands on. And weaving about when walking seems to be perfectly normal over the festive period - a sort of ritual dance, really, not an indication that you may possibly have over-indulged on the vino.

Drinking wine is one thing, appreciating it properly quite another; to understand this you have to go back to the beginning and approach wine slowly and carefully. To be successful in understanding and appreciating wine you must start with:

1. An open and enquiring mind.
2. A willingness to learn about the subject, if necessary by reading (by this I mean serious books on the subject written by proper wine writers, not fashionable foodie articles and magazines).
3. A willingness to taste, taste, taste in a structured way, thinking about and recording your feelings and sensations.
4. Patience.

Wine is a complex subject and one where you never stop learning, never. No-one in the world knows all there is to know, though there are some people who know an awful lot. The normal route for that is on a regional basis as specialists, though excellent professional tasters like Oz Clarke become polymaths through extensive, well-organised tasting and a good memory. These days there are a great many courses open to non-professionals and, indeed, many tutored tastings being held on a regular basis, both being potentially invaluable. And, of course, our home and our outings to restaurants are opportunities to taste/think/record.

The first thing to do when served a wine is to look at its colour in the glass, which is why your wine glasses should be clear and bare of decorations, no matter how beautiful the coloured glasses may look on your table. No wine lover in their right mind would consider serving wine, or even water to be honest, in glasses that are either coloured or decorated with anything - no, not even ancient family crests, pompous gold edges etc. Where wine glasses are concerned, the simpler the better so that one can see the colour of the wine clearly; this tells us quite a bit about the wine, its age and state of health. So look, enquiringly! Needless to say, glasses must be clean before serving wine, so always check yours by sniffing before the wine is poured to ensure there are no rogue (egg, washing fluid etc.) odours.

We then need to 'nose' the wine (smell it, to the uninitiated) to get a first complete idea of what it will taste like and if it has any faults - all faults show on the nose first and can be detected, if we are careful and patient. If you are new to the game, the first impressions will usually be : wine-y, alcohol, some kind of fruit... Persevere and don't look to others for inspiration but to your sensory table and memory, without fear of ridicule - if the wine reminds you of nail varnish or peaches or manureor strawberries or cigars just note it down. With time and experience you will begin to be more analytical, see things where previously you saw little, so continue sticking your hooter in that glass, repeatedly and at all times (wines change in the glass), in order to train your nose. And incidentally it is a good idea to 'nose' your food as well and relate this to wine.

The moment has come to taste what is in your glass, though you have had a preview on the nose; for this you need a sip NOT a mouthful! You take the sip, keep it at the front of your mouth and swirl it around your tongue and front teeth for a few seconds to extract the taste details; only then are you allowed to drink it, though at professional tastings you would usually spit it into the specially provided vessels. When you are swirling the wine around on your palate try to think, once again of what it reminds you of - initially this will, once again after the nose, be limited and predictable. Only slowly and through practice will you start feeling more and more, as your palate is becoming more educated and you are more relaxed in your approach. It is good practice to note things down immediately without too much thought in order to capture first impressions (they are usually, but not always, correct) and edit later if necessary.

Why all this palaver you may ask if all I want is to imbibe the stuff and have a good time? Well, if you are imbibing for the sole reason of getting drunk then don't bother - this post is not aimed at you. If, on the other hand, you are imbibing because you are fascinated by wine, its history over the centuries, like the taste and how it can complement your food (another big subject, we'll talk about it another time!) then look, listen and learn. Your patience will be greatly rewarded.

Do note that there is a taste progression and that, irrespective of financial ability (or lack thereof!) we would be doing our tastebuds a great disservice by trying to start at the top: DO NOT DO IT THAT WAY! Build up to things  starting near the bottom, with simpler wines, slowly moving on to the more complex, individual ones. And taste, taste, taste as there is no substitute for practice/experience!

P.S : The wine I chose for the photographs is an excellent 'beginners' wine, a soft, juicy Cotes du Rhone that is easy to drink - a great everyday red wine at a sensible price. My glass in the photograph is over-filled as I was glugging the lovely stuff; for tasting purposes, as you would need about a third of that, maybe even a bit less.

Exercise can help rebuild your health - believe!

One of my least popular posts has been about exercise, something I find remarkable considering how important it is in the lives of all people, in order to maintain decent health and a balanced existence. So Many of us pooh-pooh exercise until it's almost too late - it is never too late, incidentally - because of so many preconceptions and prejudices, or just plain laziness.

These shoes are made for walking/running!

But consider the following scenario, common among many of us:  You've just been to the quack (doctor for the uninitiated) and he has looked at your notes, harrumphed self-importantly and announced that 'there are problems that need to be addressed.' You have a few (hah!) extra kilos, are generally bone idle and like the odd drink or six; this was maybe fine (or at least acceptable) when you were younger, but you are not that any longer and suddenly the chickens are coming home to roost, with your health suffering.

Have no fear (well, a little...), people, because all is not lost. Most of the effects of ageing and carelessness are reversible with a bit of effort or, in some cases, quite a lot of effort. But let's be frank: if the alternative is prolonged illness and a painful death, perhaps some effort, mental and physical, may not be entirely out of the question, eh? This effort usually revolves mainly around physical exercise of some sort or another.

Too many of us still see exercise as either a crank activity or something to get us looking better, but both views are completely outdated. More and more health professionals are recognising that many, many health conditions are reversible, even curable, by exercising in appropriate ways; many of these ways are simple, others need professional guidance and assistance, but most if not all produce tangible, real results that can change lives for the better.

The excuses are many, and lots of us use them all at one time or another, but they are not really appropriate; all we are doing is refusing to face facts, to look life in the face and realise that the power to improve our quality of life is mainly in our hands. It really is easy to start exercising: get a pair of good (suitable for you) running (or walking, but running shoes are more versatile) shoes, a pair of useful socks and off you go walking; the environment around us can provide all sorts of opportunities for exercises complimentary to walking. Oh, I can see you reaching for the excuse book already...!

Walking is the most natural activity to humans, simple and possible in any weather and almost any terrain, urban or rural. We are free to set our own pace and increase it as we become more accustomed to sustained movement. Within a month we can go from couch potato to walking for over an hour at a decent rapid pace, without collapsing at the end of it; we are now ready to start exploring running, should we be so inclined. Favour the cautious approach again, especially if you are of a certain age (above 45, say) in order to minimise or avoid injuries, and do not set yourself wildly optimistic targets - they lead to disappointment and pain! A bit of walking and a bit of gentle running, in short intervals of 3 minutes each, repeated 6 times is a good way to launch your running career. I can promise you that, if you are diligent, within a month you will be running for the whole time at a comfortable pace without any problem.

Of course you should not embark on an exercise program blindly, especially if you have had serious health problems in the past, with the doctor being the initial port of call in order to avoid unpleasant surprises. Of course you should be careful and adopt a gradual schedule to exercise, of course you should think and listen to your body along the way, of course you should be organised and methodical in your approach - it should go without saying! Exercise done properly (and age appropriate) can only be good for one, unless there is an underlying weakness; we should not allow the ignorant, some doctors among them (but, thankfully, fewer and fewer), who decry exercise as causing harm to stop us. It is a force for the good and the variations and permutations are endless - discovering the ones that 'work' for you will transform your life, have no doubt.

And you'll be hearing more on the subject from me.