Goodbye to a good friend

Yesterday we gathered in a simple, small chapel at Eastbourne Crematorium to say goodbye to a dear friend and all-around good guy - Colin Barnes - whom I met through the wine trade many years ago. The ceremony was simple and touching, with a small number of his friends joining his family for the final adieu; we were lucky that sunny weather took away some of the deep sadness of the occasion. Afterwards we all gathered in a local hostelry where nibbles and refreshments including - and how could it not - some wine, helped to loosen tongues and allowed us to talk about our now absent friend and reminisce a little.

One amazing thing for me was seeing Colin's children again, as I hadn't seen his daughter in a decade and his sons in nearly twenty years, when they were little boys and we used to play football on their lawn. Well they're not little any more, but charming young men, tall, bright and vigorous, wearing bright smiles despite their pain. And Colin's daughter Samantha, a clever accomplished young woman, with tears lurking in her eyes but a warm smile ever present and concern for her mother - the wonderful Pat - evident despite her own pain. It was both devastatingly sad and uplifting to share in their tragic loss, especially as only a few years ago (or so it seems to me...) we had been sharing joyous moments.

Colin was very proud of his family and loved them all a great deal, as I know from the long conversations we had either on our infamous tour of suppliers and customers in France or the times we ended up working together, including the Christmas delivery spree for my customers in the mid to late 1990s. Yet Colin was not just a good family man but also an astute and creative businessman, who discovered his love of wine relatively late, then turned it into a business, winning awards and looking after many satisfied customers as a wine merchant, first in London and then in Sussex.

Our infamous trip to France in January 1995 in my Alfa Romeo 164, an ageing but still solid beauty, was intended as a cost-saving and amusing expedition - I would visit my air filter customers, he (with me in tow) would visit wine suppliers and we would share the transport costs while trying to have some fun on a budget; this nearly ended in tragedy after a Swiss man crashed into us on the slip road coming off the motorway to look for a hotel at Valence. The front passenger's door - on the left in a right-hand drive car - was hit hard and it was a miracle Colin was uninjured, but you could not say the same for my lovely Alfa Romeo which went from ageing beauty to practically a write off on the spot. Undaunted we continued our trip and managed to have a good time, even staying in the fabulous medieval city of Carcassonne (in the news recently when a Daesh terrorist killed several people nearby) and enjoying memorable meals and wonderful conversation. The return to England was made brighter when his family, who had been told of our ordeal, greeted us with 'welcome home' posters, relief and affection.

We shared many other moments, and I want to always remember them all, but Colin is now gone; he and I will never do the 'remember the time when...' bit ever again. I hate losing friends but am ever so grateful to have had them in my life, enriching me with their laughter and friendship, and I know that I am at the time of life when I will lose more friends sooner or later. It really hurts, as I have said before and will say again.

Goodbye Colin and thank you for enriching my life with your friendship.