With a little help from my friends

Life is a funny old thing and, irrespective of whether things are going well or not, it can be difficult and full  of problems. Some of these problems may be simple day-to-day things, others events that threaten to engulf and destroy us; all wear us down and chip away at our self-confidence and wellbeing. When the problems hit is precisely the time we need our friends around us.

During the good times friends can appear plentiful and supportive, especially when we hardly need it, and they are more often than not to be found in our corner rooting for us. This is, of course, the easy bit; everyone likes to bask in success or affluence, particularly when they can enjoy the lifestyle without the effort that goes into making it happen. Oh boy, when the champagne's flowing people love to be around to quench their thirst.

But when the music stops and the good times dry up it's a completely different story. Acquaintances and many people we thought were friends disappear, invitations dry up, comfort is in short supply and real friends sorely needed. And you can't create them when you need them, no, they need to preexist, to care already, to be ready to give when you need support.

There are people who go through life with few, if any, friends. Some are without real friends despite having a glittering circle around them, a busy social life and all the wealth in the world; others are destitute and lonely, in a cycle of solitude and despair. Ungiving by nature, they are surprised when others do not wish to give to them and feel aggrieved by the lack of generosity. Few relish the loneliness that comes from being friendless, especially when age becomes a factor.

Time to own up: I am not like that at all. My life has long been full of wonderful friends and, should I pop my clogs tomorrow, I can truthfully say that I have been wealthy beyond my wildest dreams in my friendships - for me friends constitute our biggest treasure in life! Material goods may come and go, but when you have friends you can survive almost anything.

Do not scoff, as this is something that is ignored when things are rolling along nicely but becomes obvious during tough times; alas it is a lesson not always truly learned or appreciated.

In the last few years I have had good reason to ponder this, as my life took turns for the worse, then more, then more again. While my health did not suffer in any significant way and I managed to keep a balance in my everyday life, my friends were always there with advice, support and even financial help. Had it not been for them I am certain I wouldn't be here today, not in any meaningful way: that I am not a broken shell of a man I owe to all those who, in small or major ways, have helped to save me from drowning in life's stagnant pool.

Some people have lent me money on open-ended interest-free loans, others have paid things for me. Advice, support and concern have flowed around me from day one, keeping me protected and warm inside. One friend offered me use of their office, to use more or less as I pleased, another allowed me to use and share her holiday flat for over three months, a third has issued an open-ended invite to use his flat in Switzerland whether or not he is in residence. And what of my friends in London who have put me up for free for the last year and a bit? Priceless!

My debts of gratitude are many, but my friends have no wish to be named or lauded; their kindness is because of our friendship, and because they know that if the situation was reversed I would do the same for them without hesitation.

Along the way I have lost some friends, primarily through their death, and this grieves me greatly despite the fact that this is natural after a certain age. I miss them all, cherish the memories of our times together but wish they were still here to create new ones.

So look after your friends, treasure and nurture them, for you never know when you might lose them or really need them. I don't know if the Beatles were talking about this exactly, but if they did they were right: 'Oh I get by with a little help from my friends....'