Saturday 23 September 2017

My choice, but not my responsibility

Recently English former headteacher Emma Kelty was shot, robbed, raped and murdered in Brazil while travelling alone using a kayak down the length of the Amazon river, a distance of (apparently) some 4000 miles. She had pitched her tent in an area notorious for gangs, drug traffickers and murders, and had even commented on social media about the risks ('I will have my boat stolen and I will be killed too - Nice'); before setting off she had apparently taken a course in some sort of self-defense to help her cope with danger. Alas it was no help against feral armed gangsters with no respect for other people, their property or their life.

Everyone mourned the loss of a life, and one full of zest and an adventurous spirit, but some people criticised her judgment in travelling alone, unarmed and camping in such a dangerous place. Some went as far as to call her foolish, which has prompted a reaction and an opposing view being put forward: Don't call her foolish, for that way you are attaching blame to her, and she was clearly the victim here. If anyone is to blame it is her attackers and no blame should be attached to her.

This is such a wonderfully simplistic and idealised view of life, choosing to disregard reality because 'it shouldn't be like that.' But - and I have said this many times and will repeat it again and again - life is as it is, not how we want it to be. If we willfully ignore the reality of a situation we are at least partly to blame, even when we are the victims.

Think about it - people shouldn't steal, but if you leave your car unlocked with the keys in the ignition you are no going to be covered by your insurance policy if it is stolen. In an ideal world we would not have to lock our front doors, hide our valuables, not provoke dangerous individuals; but our world is far from ideal, much though we may wish it to be otherwise. This is illustrated every day yet in the western 'civilised' world not only do we choose to ignore this but protest against the notion that individuals need to do anything to protect themselves as paternalistic, sexist or anything else that we can come up with.

Look at the natural world with a critical eye and you will understand that it is as far from a Disney cartoon as you can get. Yes, there is a lot of love and cooperation in nature but mixed with savagery, cruelty and death, where often one species depends on harming (usually eating...) the other to survive. It is not a fairy-tale existence, happily ever after, where man is the only cruel predator and otherwise animals would live in perfect peaceful coexistence. Yes there is harmony and interdependence, but based on harsh realism and a 'your death, my life' existence. This is not nice, but it is reality.

I agree that we should  try and make our world a place where abhorrent incidents like the one in the Amazon do not happen, where nobody steals, attacks or harms another person in any way, shape or form. Let us attempt at making an idealised world, where all is love and the milk of human kindness overflows, where barbarity is eliminated and cruelty is absent. It is a utopian vision, I fear, and all that I know and understand of our nature tells me it cannot be.

In the world we now occupy we have a responsibility not to allow ourselves to become victims, to protect ourselves. Ignoring reality is stupid and breathtakingly irresponsible and we end up paying for it, sometimes even with our lives, like Emma Kelty. How can this be justified? Why do we expect people to behave according to our expectations when they manifestly see things differently and behave the way that suits them?

Do not ignore danger just because it 'shouldn't be like that.' Do not enter into dangerous situations without being fully - and I do mean as completely as possible - prepared. The world can be a pitiless place, inhabited by hard, mean people, and the danger they pose should not be underestimated. We are responsible for our actions and must live (or in Ms. Kelty's case die) with the consequences. That, I'm afraid, is reality.

If someone tells you that if you walk down a certain dark alley at night you will be robbed and maybe killed and choose to ignore it because life shouldn't be like that and you should be free to go wherever you like whenever you like you are being reckless. Never do this unless, that is, you are prepared to pay the price, whatever that may be.

Thursday 21 September 2017

Life in the slow lane

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining... well, not much anyway. Life has not been especially kind to me over the last seven and a bit years, with the result that I have gone from being a property owning business proprietor with money in the bank to being a  penniless, jobless, money-owing  homeless individual relying on the kindness of others to survive. This is never easy to take, much less so when one is not in the first flush of youth and is fond some of the finer things in life...

My gripe is not with anyone or anything, though there are a few people that I consider to have behaved extremely badly towards me, nor is it with life; in essence I'm just having a bit of a moan. In truth, life in general has been mainly kind over the years and I've enjoyed times and things that many other people never get even near to in their lifetime. And as you know, friends have sickened and fallen by the wayside but I'm still here, alive and kicking, waiting to write the next chapter in my life, good or - hopefully not - bad.

Human beings often complain bitterly about the unfairness of life, how we are suffering when others are not, how hard we have it while others live on easy street. We can be really simplistic sometimes, despite the fact that a quick look around us will show others not a million miles away living under far worse conditions - and I don't mean the starving of Africa or the persecuted in the Far East. There is homelessness and deprivation even in the richest of western democracies, suffering and pain, even modern versions of slavery. The fact that we can no longer afford certain non-essential items, even certain luxuries, should be neither here nor there, but many of us spend hours agonising over trivialities.

Celebrate life while you have it, people, that's the message. Slow lane, fast lane, it doesn't really matter. Find things to rejoice in, to enjoy, at your new level, maybe simpler, more basic. Life is what it is not what we want it to be, and there is plenty of enjoyment to be had if one is careful and selective. As a rather extreme example (but one that comes from my wine merchant days): I do not claim that a decent bottle of an everyday wine - say a good Cotes du Rhone from a juicy year - can replace your Mouton 1961, but it can certainly give pleasure, lots of it, if you are receptive to its charms and do not scorn it because of its rather simple pedigree. Go for it, glug it, allow yourselves the enjoyment of even the simple things; my current circumstances have taught me that, shown me clearly... Yes, of course, there are times when I miss the great pleasures, but it is a fleeting feeling with little bite.

I am not advocating accepting mediocrity and lack of quality simply to save on cost, simply because we cannot afford it. Rather, I am talking about shifting focus, lowering our sights and looking for bargains at lower levels, pleasure on a budget, special offers, affordability of items of decent quality if spectacular is out of reach. And there is lots of pleasure to be found in these little offers, lots; they are out there waiting to be discovered.

The other day I had croissants and coffee at a little place at the wrong end of Maida Vale, run as a one woman show by a passionate, committed, perfectionist chef. They were lovely - crispy on the outside and feather-light on the inside - and not expensive, so I also bought a ham and emmental sandwich to take away for later. This may have cost ten percent more than the mass market/commercial alternatives but was twenty percent bigger, had better ingredients, impeccable homemade french bread and was made to order - it tasted like wonderful sandwiches you used to be able to find in France thirty years ago and which now are nowhere to be seen... What a splendid lunch it made for yours truly, despite being 'merely a sandwich' and even without wine!

In the not too distant future I shall do a proper post about this place, once I've had the chance to sample a full meal, so I'm not revealing everything just yet to keep you salivating.  But I promise you will hear all about this little find - I just need to save up the pennies first. And as it's presently unlicensed (this may be about to change) I will need to take a bottle of wine with me, one that will be heavily discounted for one reason or another but which will give great pleasure, far far more than its humble price would suggest. What a treat that will be for us all!

Life in the slow lane doesn't have to be all bad. Let's make the most of the hand we've been dealt and enjoy as much as we can of whatever we can. In the long run we're all dead anyway.

Sunday 17 September 2017

Make our world a better place?

We all want our world to be a better place, don't we? We want life to be better, easier, more human for everyone, don't we? Of course we do, passionately - the trouble is, we don't want to have to do anything about it ourselves, but expect 'someone else' to do it, to get involved, to bring about change.

The Japanese, practical people, say that in order to change by 100% you can change 100 things by 1% each, surely no great achievement; this put life into perspective properly and takes away our excuses, but still we procrastinate. And the Japanese have had to endure change, embrace it, move their country forward after WW2, effectively and with dignity.

But what do most people do, western or otherwise? We read about things, talk about them, debate the alternatives, choose to ignore them or form societies and charities to deal with them; a small minority of us even get involved in making our world better in some way. The rest of us, well:

We are horrified that the seas are inundated with plastic, but still cannot be bothered to re-use our bags at the supermarket and so cut down on the packaging that we utilise.

We are upset that our children are more vulnerable to diseases because of the prevalence of antibiotics in our lives but still take them at the first sign of a sniffle, and despite the fact that doctors explicitly warn us against it. And we do not boycott meat suffused with antibiotics because it's cheaper.

We cannot be bothered to walk or use public transport despite overwhelming pollution strangling our cities and poisoning our children.

We leave our cars idling needlessly so that we don't have to switch off and forego cool air from the air-conditioning for a few seconds, or because we just can't be bothered to switch them off. If we can't see pollution it's not there, surely.

We eat crap food produced cheaply despite lots of evidence showing how food production is poisoning our planet, destroying nature and, ultimately, our (and our children's) health. Cheap is cheap, after all, and why should we worry.

We continue to put our needs first and ignore our fellow human beings despite abundant evidence that civilised societies can only operate within systems and parameters based on mutual respect.

We then have the cheek to wake up in the morning and wonder why our world is a mess, and who is going to do something about it...

Oh, please! We can change the world, we can make it better, but it involves trying, putting ourselves out; it simply will not happen by itself, or only through the efforts of others. Get real, get busy, get changing, get on improving. A little at a time is fine.

Monday 11 September 2017

Pet hates, part one

It had to happen sooner or later... There are certain things in life that get me really wound up, that I actually dislike intensely; I feel that now is the time to make you aware of them, before our relationship gets too cosy. But this is not a finite list so I'm preparing a first installment for now and see how we go from there. And, incidentally, you may contribute to this with your pet hates should you so wish and I can do a post featuring them semi-anonymously at a future point. Life is a participation sport, after all.

In no particular order my pet hates (the first few anyway, more where these came from...) are:

Rude and/or inconsiderate people
The easiest thing in the world is for us to take into account others and behave accordingly. Mankind has developed all sorts of systems to enable us all to co-exist in cramped and crowded cities and all we have to do is respect them, and our co-residents.
But we don't, or some of us don't, harming everyone in the process. I'm not concerned about spurious etiquette here or funny little middle class rules of life, but actual day to day behaviour. The people who are not prepared to respect others or refuse to understand that their freedom ends where the next person's begins behave appallingly in my book and should be shamed and shunned.

Stupidity
One of the most frustrating things is coming up against or consorting with stupid people, who are either intellectually lazy or deficient - when God (whichever one you believe in) was raining brainpower they were clutching an umbrella. I know people who seriously tell me - some even brag about it - that they believe the very same things they did in their twenties, now being in their sixties... And their favourite phrase: 'I don't care what you say to me, I will not change my mind'...ugh!

Bad drivers/riders/cyclists
Everyday life is short and full of danger, so it is incumbent upon us to try and minimise the risks when we take part in activities that could cause harm to others. Driving carelessly is terrible, riding a motorbike without paying attention is dangerous to self and others, riding a bicycle without respecting the law and being thoughtful is disgraceful and dangerous in the extreme. For some reason there appear to be quite a few cyclists who seem to think that they are above any law that does not suit them, ignoring traffic signals and riding on the pavement... NO!
All drivers/riders/cyclists should respect the safety of others around them, without exception, and observe the rules of the road, and the law.

-isms
Should you voice an opinion about something without following current trends, political correctness or just if you happen to have a different viewpoint you will immediately be labelled with the personal form of -ism (-ist), the most common and widely used of which is sexist, closely followed by racist and fascist; you are then attacked, usually only verbally, on the basis of that label. I detest this process, which seeks to circumvent reasoned dialogue and replace it with hurled 'beliefs' and accusations. In this way we replace the need to think with barracking and colour discussions with negativity, most often where there should be none.
And please, before you start labelling me, I also detest any attempt to classify/judge/value people based on race, gender, colour, religion or ethnicity.

Smoking
Since I was a little boy (don't think about it, lost in the mists of time...) I have hated the smell of cigarette smoke of any kind, how it lingers in the air making it harder to breathe, how it permeates clothing, furnishing fabrics, even human hair. And the smell of dead cigarettes...ugh! If you add to that the effect on a smoker's health it is incredible to me that we still find it socially acceptable, albeit on a diminishing scale. As for the addictive nature of smoking, need I say more?
When I make this point I am often asked about cigars or pipes, and the fact that their smoke is far more aromatic and interesting to the senses. While I do not disagree with the basic premise I still find their smoke offensive, overpowering and worse for permeating everything than cigarettes.

Addiction of any kind
Many years ago I consciously decided that I would never allow myself to be addicted to anything. I view enjoyment, even to excess sometimes, as acceptable; dependency on the other hand I abhor and cannot accept for myself in any way, shape or form. There are many things in life that I enjoy greatly - well, wine for a start - but I can live without them if I have to, so deplore the inability of some people to rid themselves of one addiction or other, be it smoking, soft drinks, alcohol, illegal drugs or anything else.
There is a theory that there is an 'addictive gene', so that we are born to do certain things and have little control over our behaviour if we are born with it. While that may be so, I feel that a lot of addictive behaviour comes down to habit, routine, pursuit of pleasure; we are then seized by certain active ingredients in things that take control out of our hands.
Please, if you are an addict of anything - yes, even chocolate - rest control back before it's too late!

Pushy people
I grew up in a household where being pushy was regarded as almost a crime, so I view worthless self-promoters as pests or vermin and detest the way they manoeuvre constantly to gain some advantage, not due to their abilities but through intrigue. People with ability should be promoted and feted, their qualities recognised, admired, utilised and, if possible, rewarded appropriately. Snake oil salesmen should be 'tarred and feathered', then 'driven out of town'.
Thanks to self-promotion, today every Tom, Donald and Harriet is a star... Please! Ugh!

And now that I've stopped complaining for the time being, here's something to improve your mood: an image from a good friend, the distinguished painter Kyriakos Lazarides!

Wednesday 6 September 2017

So you want to exercise, do you?

Many people have written about exercise and have given advise as to how to pursue it and how it can change your life. Not all the advice given is universally helpful, nor is it always accurate or sensible, especially when appearing in the popular media. A lot of the 'advice' given focuses on appearance, which is only one result of correct exercise, almost a bonus for a job well done; it should not be the whole story.

Alas as with so many other things in life, the profit motive is the strongest factor in this marketplace, but it is often hidden behind generalisations and platitudes. The emphasis is places largely on the young, as they are less suspicious and cynical, and spend more of their disposable income on their appearance. Social media make this even more powerful, spreading messages of the ideal, perfect beauty of the body, desirability, success. Under these circumstances it is not surprising that the young - males especially - are tempted to seek shortcuts, much in the same way as athletes, Olympic level or otherwise, may be tempted to adopt performance-boosting measures that are effective, but illegal. All this would matter less if the measures taken were not, almost universally, also extremely harmful to the users.

But enough of negativity - how should the average person first approach fitness, or get involved again after years of inactivity? Well, carefully, patiently and with sound expert advice.

It is extremely important to be sure that there are no drawbacks to taking up exercise, and for that you should consult your doctor and, if necessary, undertake whatever tests may be needed. While this may seem excessive, especially if you are still relatively young, it is vital to ensure that you are able to pursue your chosen activity without serious risks to your well-being.

Anybody who has been largely inactive for a time period in excess of a few months should start by walking a few days a week; 20-30 minutes at a time at a sensible pace (not very quickly), increasing after the first two weeks to 40 minutes and a slightly faster pace. By the end of month 2 you should be comfortable walking for over an hour at a brisk pace. It is essential that you increase both distance and pace slowly, wear appropriate clothing (especially shoes/socks) and listen to your body - if at any time you feel unwell do not ignore it!

After the first two months you will have created a basic level of fitness from which to progress and on which to base your further progress. It will, therefore, be useful (but not essential) to start measuring what you do; the easiest way is either by activity tracker, heart rate monitor, smartphone app, or a combination thereof. Should you so wish you may also start measuring your weight, fat % or lung capacity; undertaking a fitness evaluation using specialist equipment (e.g. MIE FitQuest) could be invaluable in tracking your fitness progression over time, and it's best  to start after you have established a base level. A good fitness professional will add value to this (again, useful but not essential so long as common sense prevails) by discussing your needs and guiding you in pursuing the best course to fulfill them.

Any fitness program for both men and women should include some strength work, to a lesser or greater degree, general at first but subsequently tailored to the individual; there are substantial benefits to health from this and it does not involve becoming muscle-bound. Core exercises (abdominals/lower back) are especially important for good posture and a healthy body.

It may seem counter-intuitive but it is a good idea to have a good basic level of overall fitness before participating in sports, whether group or individual. As we age (I mean once we are past our early thirties, don't laugh) our body becomes more vulnerable when subjected to unusual forces, sudden movement and changes of direction, and we need to prepare with more care for competitive activity. For every sport, from running to football to tennis, there are maintenance exercises to be done (in the gym or elsewhere to suit) to help us be more effective, efficient and less prone to injury.

If that sounds like hard work, it isn't really - just consider the pain and inconvenience that a sports injury may bring. This is especially important for anyone who takes up exercise to improve their health and feel better... think about it!