I crashed and burned, but I'm on the way back...

Nearly three years ago and, after five years of immensely hard work and unstinting effort battling to save it, my business had to be closed down in order to stem mounting losses. In the resulting chaos I lost my home, my money  and - almost - my health and sanity. The business was a top quality gym and health club in Athens, Greece, dragged down not only by the interminable financial problems faced by the country it was operating in but also due to the prevailing business climate of the Greek fitness industry.

Everyone has reasons and, indeed, excuses as to why their business has failed. Often we try to shift or evade the blame and keep our pride intact, our spirits high; sometimes we are even honest and correct in this. My particular case is a combination of both - external factors played an important role but some mistakes were made as well, mostly evident with the benefit of 20/20 vision, i.e. hindsight! One thing I cannot be accused of, though, is not trying hard enough!

We fought so hard and for so long against the odds that when the end came I was left exhausted, battered, bruised and penniless! It was fascinating to see former colleagues and employees lining up to throw stones, having previously benefited enormously from our association; for some the back-stabbing had commenced long before, when they thought they could see vulnerability or a possible unhappy end in the near future. What was particularly galling was that most of these people had suffered relatively little hardship during the years of struggling, with no pay reductions or reduction of contract hours, just a small delay in payment, even as they watched me kill myself working 15-hour days - and losing tons of money to keep the business and them afloat. Human nature is a funny old thing, and people don't always behave well towards someone who has treated them with kindness, consideration and respect when they feel he/she is no longer in a position to benefit them... ho hum! Life is the way it is, though, and often is anything but fair.

Those of you who have faced a similar situation will know that the disintegration and closure of a business can be much like bereavement, like watching a loved person wither and die. Furthermore my business involved extended contact with people,  whom I had to face and explain, face and defend, face with overwhelming feelings of failure, guilt and disappointment. Like the loss of a loved one the considerations involve thoughts like: "I could/should have saved them/it, I could/should have done more, I could/should have done better, I could have given more etc', even when you know that this does not reflect reality. What is very real is the sense of loss, and the searing pain.

The road to redemption is long and hard, especially if you have been wiped out, financially and emotionally, by the preceding years. Not being in the first flush of youth helps in some ways but hinders in others, with some routes to a better future closed because of age in this markedly ageist society that we live in. But - I'll say it again - life is what it is and on we must go, step by careful step until the fragile self is at least partly rebuilt and an image of the existence of a future appears again. This time the future is most about survival, but is also replete with ethics and contribution to others, to society; personal gain becomes a less important consideration.

The last few years have also made me realise that life is precious, and short, and it is certainly not worth drinking bad wine, plonk to you and me! Life should be about quality, not quantity, finesse not crude, clumsiness.  I may not be able to afford the really good stuff but I can still drink well on a budget - all I (and you) need do is shop around and research a bit before buying. And, do you know, the analogy works for people as well:  life is too short to spend time with shitty, joyless people with closed minds who will take advantage of you when they can, then kick you when you're down, for satisfaction or personal gain.

Those of you who have read my ramblings from the start will know that I have been blessed to have a wonderful family and great friends, all of whom have stood by me and have supported me through thick and thin, who've put themselves out in amazing ways to help me get back on my feet. For all their sakes - and for my little (!!!) ego - I intend to do just that; all that remains is for me to find gainful employment and be able to start controlling (as much as any of us do...) my life's destiny again.

Not afraid of hard work, travel, inconvenience or risk, I'm on the brink of starting a whole new phase of my life with enthusiasm and pride. The funny thing is that now that I'm nearly back on my feet again I can see the naysayers and backstabbers for what they are (tiny, insignificant horned creatures) and wish them the worst - may they and theirs burn eternally and rot in hell. I will not be joining them in their nasty little club anytime soon.

Why I hate bad drivers

I'm an opinionated little (well, relatively...) so-and-so, as you have probably gathered by now; those of you who know me personally know that, coupled with my easy-going personality it helps endear me to all and sundry. And ha-ha to you too!

I have grown up loving mechanised transport, from my early bicycle days to motorbikes and motorcars, and I have done many foolish things whilst in control - at least nominally - of all of them. The tumbles off bicycles and motorbikes, the broken legs/teeth, the grazed legs/arms,  they are all testaments to a misspent youth doing silly things, often for silly reasons. But, in fairness, they happened a long time ago and were part of growing up and learning. And learn I did, and did so well, so that after more than half a million miles driving around in various motorcars/motorcycles/bicycles I am a mature, considerate and extremely safe driver/rider - this is an opinion voiced by many others, incidentally, and is not mine alone!

Not so everyone on the road, though. Just observing fellow road users over a short period will fill us with horror, as people's driving behaviour seems more like an expression of their character and individuality rather than of someone operating as part of a complex transport system. But that is exactly what individual drivers are: cogs in a complex system not formally connected and, until that is fully understood, the system will have constant problems, i.e. accidents.

In one of my previous posts I spoke about selfishness, which is something that has absolutely no place when one is on the road and in charge of a motor vehicle. Selfish driving is rude, wasteful and, above all, dangerous; it includes the arrogant presumption of superiority (and, therefore, priority) over other road users based on some perception known only to the person responsible. These people are major idiots, make no mistake, doing seriously stupid things. Some are just annoying, such as the idiot parking in the middle of four spaces at a shopping centre car park so that no lesser mortal can park next to their sacred chariot. Some are just inconsiderate, not taking the needs of the rest of the world into account, so they park carelessly and leave empty spaces that, if taken up, would allow maybe another vehicle to find a parking spot - this usually (but not exclusively) happens where parking space is scarce, thus depriving other motorists who are part of this complex system. Others can be deadly to themselves and others, speeding wildly through built up areas, overtaking on blind corners and driving way over their capabilities because they see themselves either as racing drivers or some form of road warrior.

Some of the selfish people have arrived there because they are particularly well off, drive an exceptional and expensive motorcar and want everyone to know that they are, therefore, special in some way. They are usually, however, not particularly special drivers and often come unstuck when they try too hard, as exceptional motorcars can take skill to drive quickly. Unfortunately in the present, illogical financial climate more and more money is being spent on road cars that are racing vehicles dressed up for the road; some can even be seen parked on London streets and pottering around town, something they are singularly unsuited for. They are badges of wealth and privilege, designed to near Formula 1 standards but whose drivers need no qualifications other than money to drive them.


But selfish drivers are not all insanely wealthy, driving Lamborghinis and McLarens. Often they're driving a souped-up Ford of some description - a Fiesta? - or something equally mundane, but rapid, noisy and VERY boy (very few girls are as foolish) racer. Oh how they misbehave on urban and suburban roads, brutally speeding in crowded streets making aggressive noises and threatening other road users and pedestrians alike with their antisocial behaviour and their pimply sneering faces. And, you know, an out of control cheap car is just as dangerous - if not more - than an out of control expensive car, and just as deadly.

Motor vehicles have given us as individuals amazing freedom and terrific pleasure over the last one hundred and a bit years, with the ability to move about flexibly and travel cheaply and easily, yet all this is threatened by bad drivers and their (mis)behaviour. Somehow we consider driving to be a sort of birthright and a licence deserved irrespective of the abilities and skills of the individual, to the point where some people who cannot pass the test on merit will cheat to acquire a licence. I wonder how they would feel if they were travelling on an aeroplane that was coming in to land, only for the pilot to announce: 'As I was only able to get my pilot's licence by deceit and cannot necessarily do everything properly we may not be able to land safely...' And before you complain that it is a completely different matter think about it - all that's really different is the scale.

Driving is not a birthright and people who cannot drive properly should not drive at all.

Trial by Media

There is a kind of frenzy at the moment in international media about people in the entertainment industry and their personal behaviour towards other people. Many previously admired - at least professionally - figures are now reviled and are being made into pariahs; their films are being cancelled and/or re-cast, their companies are struggling to survive and their friends and family are abandoning them post haste. And they all have something in common: they have not yet been convicted of anything in a court of law.

So why do people, including (as reported in the media a few days ago) the actress Hayley Atwell, feel they have a right to demand punishment for an individual - in this case Harvey Weinstein - before he is convicted of specific crimes of any description? What we have a right to demand is that he is tried in a court of law, and that his accusers are given the opportunity to present the evidence that exists proving that he is a sexual predator who has abused people (in his case women) by using his standing as a film producer to demand and receive sexual gratification of one kind or another. At the moment and until he is tried he should be considered innocent until proven guilty, at least from the point of view of punishment.

This is not in any way to suggest that Harvey Weinstein or anybody else accused of serious sexual misconduct should be treated as before the allegations, nor that life should continue as if nothing has happened. When we are faced with accusations we must take them seriously, but not uniformly at face value - not everyone who makes an accusation is necessarily telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. If the allegations are of a serious nature - not the 'he/she fleetingly touched my knee' variety - then they must be referred to and investigated by officers of the law and, provided the evidence is there, the matter must be tried in a court of law. Whilst nothing is foolproof, a convicted abuser cannot then hide or pretend that nothing happened.

What really annoys me is that some people are using the timing to attack other famous people with claims and innuendoes, often claiming that they have suffered for years keeping something inside because the other person was so important/rich/powerful and they thought they would not be believed. No, they say, they have no evidence to support their claim, but why would anyone put themselves through an ordeal such as this if they were not telling the truth; then they smile fetchingly at any available camera.

Isn't it also funny that some of the people who accuse have wasted no opportunity in the recent past to be photographed with their alleged abuser smiling radiantly, looking happy and relaxed - why?

Of course it's time that people showed proper respect to one another, irrespective of their perceived power and influence, so that we all behave correctly towards others. Isn't it also time, though, to start being a bit more realistic about human nature and its ugly side, to not expect that people will behave the way we want them to all the time, to protect ourselves a little bit? Paddington Bear may see the good in everyone but you and I should know better!

Self-absorbed, self-centred, selfish yes! Self-aware and self-critical, no...

Alas we have become monsters, perhaps of some benign variety, but monsters nevertheless, willfully destroying our world in order to have a good time; the terrible thing is that we are bringing up our young to be far, far worse. This is everywhere we look around us, where people are putting their needs first and foremost to the detriment of those around them and, indeed, society. The old tenet that your freedom starts where your neighbour's ends is completely disregarded also, harming us all immeasurably.

Look around you and see all the individuals absorbed in playing with their personal devices (no, this does not imply anything, you've just got a dirty mind...) disregarding all else, expecting others to move out of their benighted way if required just so they can 'do their own thing' as and when they like.

Look around you and see all the individuals who cannot be bothered to go out of their course even in a small way to help protect our planet - cars left idling for no reason other than personal comfort, rubbish left wherever but not in a bin, recyclables just thrown away, rubbish placed in recycling bins when there is a rubbish bin next to it...

Look around you and see parents indulging and promoting their children - who often have no discernible special talents - as deserving of the best in the world 'because they want it', giving rise to the fallacy that all you have to do to be successful in anything is to want it badly enough.

Look around you and see the children resulting from the above paragraph go through life full of their sense of entitlement, arrogant, petulant, spoiled and unwilling to make the effort required to truly achieve at any level, be it flipping burgers and waiting on tables to creating a new computer system or becoming a professional singer/musician/actor/star.

Not everything is wrong, of course, not everyone is like that, but too many are. For our own good we need to take a close look at ourselves and do better.

The trouble is that 'professionals' tell us not to try to improve, that in order to be happy we must accept ourselves as we are and demand that others accept that too. They are the same 'professionals' who tell us that all who finish a race should be rewarded equally (no distinction for winning, for preparing well, for making more of an effort) to avoid hurt feelings, embarrassment, having to try harder. And being happy as individuals is now the holy grail of life, leaving little room for much else.

So why should we be self-aware and/or self-critical when we are told that it is unnecessary/redundant/harmful? Why not be self-absorbed and try to get everyone else to accept us the way we see ourselves? Why not be utterly selfish and let others worry about everything?

Work it out, guys - answers on a postcard, ok an email, please.

Cyclists - more sinned against than sinning?

There is not a day that goes by without me witnessing at least one cyclist aggressively breaking the law and endangering others (and themselves) by cycling on the pavement, cycling the wrong way up one way streets, ignoring red lights and being a nuisance by riding in areas where cyclists are specifically banned - parks, canal walkways, pedestrian crossings. The other day I even witnessed a grown man (couldn't tell, but probably in his thirties) cycling on Oxford Street with his back turned on the direction of travel, who simply turning to look every so often - in a busy shopping street he was a show-off and an accident waiting to happen.

Far more people choose to cycle around London these days with, I'm told, the vast majority being law-abiding and respectful of other road users and pedestrians alike. In fact they have to spend most of their time protecting themselves from the foolishness of others, including absent-minded pedestrians and careless lorry drivers. They are, after all, treading a righteous path that consumes no fossil fuels, does not pollute our planet and takes up little space - true paragons of virtue.

I have nothing against cyclists or cycling per se and am, in fact, a part-time cyclist myself, though I have had limited recent experience of cycling in London. Furthermore I am both a massively experienced car driver, having covered more than 500,000 road miles in my life, a keen motorcyclist and an energetic pedestrian; I do truly try to see all sides of the argument. There is no moral high ground for people breaking the rules of the road, formal or otherwise, and the law, mostly at the same time.

Some cyclists bring a naive attitude to their riding, expecting the world to behave in a perfect manner and forgetting that they have the most to lose if it does not; life and limb are both at serious risk, irrespective of whose fault it may be. Others assume, because of their 'righteousness', or the effort involved in pedalling, that they have a special dispensation to ignore the rules of the road at will. Both categories are a danger to themselves and to others, and should change if they want to survive. They should also begin to learn that just because they want to cycle through an area clearly marked 'no cycling' or 'cyclists dismount here' or other similar prohibitions they have a right to do so, often aggressively, and swear at or threaten anyone who tells them they are doing something wrong... well!

The fact that drivers of motor vehicles are often badly behaved (I'll be writing about them very soon, don't you worry!), stupid or careless does not give cyclists, or anybody else for that matter, the right to be so as well. We need to work to change the 'bad' apples, not make more 'bad' ones in conflict with and to balance out the originals; this is a road to disaster where everyone loses, but more so than anyone pedestrians.

Ah life, life...

I've just watched a short video on the BBC website about a young girl (thirteen years old) from Syria who has managed to escape the war ravaging her country and reach Germany. It was shocking, heartbreaking and elating at the same time to see this young child, with the smiling, shining eyes, eyes that have seen so much, and to hear her speak passable German after such a short time.

It is so easy for those of us who have never witnessed war and real suffering to dismiss these refugees as economic migrants and a burden on the West, a threat even to everything we hold dear. But please watch Israa and listen to her story, see the child and hear the echoes of pain within. These are not trivial stories, nor are the fates of these people unimportant; they are human beings made to suffer because of events outside their control who have reacted to save themselves. Feel Israa's happiness and see the effort she is making to assimilate and be a part of the strange, new place she has had to move to.

It is so easy to be dismissive of others, especially when they are different in appearance and behaviour, like fish out of water. Undoubtedly within these groups there will be individuals who will turn against their benefactors and seek to harm the very people who have offered a helping hand - after all often there is no one less appreciative than the one who has benefited from kindness - but that should not be enough to stop us helping. Just look at Israa and her smiling eyes, shining with intelligence and happiness, and unafraid.

Life is not easy, and helping others is often difficult and emotionally charged. But stories like this move me beyond what my feeble words can say, beyond tears, and makes me hope that somewhere, somehow human nature will show its best side. I know that there is much suffering in the world and we in the West cannot alleviate all of it, but let us not let that stop us from doing what little we can.

Help the unfortunate in any small way you can, please; we need to see more smiling eyes.